Thursday, September 14, 2006

Sock Management Problem

Trying to manage my socks is a problem that been EATING away at me. I've learned not to be that douche, that wears white tube socks with everything, like some dippy 13 yr old who wears his dad's suit for jr. high graduation.

The smart thing I did is make sure I have almost all black socks. I have a few pairs in other colours, but I don't go out and try to make a cute little "statement" like some Croc wearing soccer-dad. I do have a few other colours, but I'll leave those out for now.

In my sock drawer I have heaps of black socks, but each one is part of a matched pair, so if one gets fucked up, I have to decide do I still try to keep the pair in the rotation ?

To complicate matters, I also have multiples of some types of socks, so sometimes that means I'm left with three of a kind, or five.

This means I also have a pile of singles which are part of an odd-numbered set, which I can't throw away because I can use them if one of the socks in the paired sets gets fucked.

So after I wash my socks, I have this heap of black socks - all different kinds. I sort them into three piles :

A) good socks (this is like 25% of the socks)
B) workable socks (ones that have a little hole, but not too bad, like 70%)
C) fucked up socks (ones that have big holes, these are the rest)

Pile C I just throw away, they're done.

I pair up the good socks in pile A to whatever extent possible. The ones I can't pair up from pile A I try to find a match in pile B. (To complicate things trying to pair up a shitload of not exactly the same black socks is like sexing baby chickens, it's excruciatingly hard and sometimes mistakes are made).

I can also pair up some of the socks from pile B, but them I have an ass-pair, where both members are defective.

Now I'm left with a few good socks from A and some from B which are unpaired, though they may be part of a threesome or fivesome. I can't actually be sure unless I have ALL my socks in front of my, so ultimately I'm forced to hang on to them forever.

Orphan socks, just sitting by themselves, hoping that one day they will be paired up, when the right sock croaks.

So wouldn't it be good if there were a few types of "standard sock", and if you had to you could go pick up one, three or a dozen replacements when you needed them ?

Companies have figured out how to do it with batteries and lightbulbs, why not socks ?

And... Of course like any good idea, someone has had it. I present BLACKSOCKS.COM. With Blacksocks you can subcribe to one of their socks. You would get a 10 sock starter kit and then you can subscribe for a 3/yr or 4/yr shipment.

All the blacksocks in a given style and size are identical and unchanging. You can always place an order and replenish your supply and at no time would you have more than one unmatched "good" sock.

I'm surprised IKEA, or Cdn. Tire or some other ubiqutous proletariat chain hasn't picked up on this idea.

Basically I need to do this, or at least throw out all my socks and start fresh with a new supply of black socks. The problem will still be a find a way to replenish the supply six months or a year or more from now.


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