Sunday, December 31, 2006

Movie Round up

I just checked out Idiocracy. To summarize: a regular schmoe wakes up after being frozen for 500 years, and in that time culture has become so degraded and people have become so fat and stupid that he is the smartest guy on earth.

The most popular restaurant is call "Buttfuckers", the #1 movie is called "Ass" and the president is a Macho-man type wrestler. The first fifteen minutes (and the continous narration) are painfully pedantic, but it is still hilarious.

Beerfest was probably still my favorite movie of the year. It's got everything I like: beer drinking, sports, ethnic humour.

Volver: This was surprsingly good for something the turtleneck crowd thinks is good. The writing is tight. Penelope Cruz is of course mind blowingly hot, but the best part is the love interest - there isn't one. I'm pretty sure this will be re-made in English next year with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson.

Clerks II: This was so bad it wasn't good, I couldn't watch more than the first 30 minutes. Every "joke" was painfully forced and not funny at all.

The cameos from Kevin Smith-made stars like Jason Lee and Ben Affleck emphasize just why the two fuckos from Clerks, Dante and Randal never made any other movies. They have the charisma of strip mall pedophiles.

So the notion that Rosario Dawson (very Hot!) has a crush on Dante is just absurd.

Honestly, I was thinking it was made under some sort of duress, like Kevin Smith was fighting a nasty drug habit or making it to pay off a gambling debt.
I thought it was intentional that Dante's fiance was supposed to be hideous and look like a transvestite .. but it turns out that is KEVIN SMITH'S ACTUAL WIFE !

"Dude, you married a tranny."


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