Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Assbike Movie Review: Norbit

Dialogic Themes Abound In Murphy's Norbit

In "Norbit" Murphy is both Norbit, the eponymous anti-hero of this latest cinematic non pareil and through computer trickery and layers of latex is transformed into Rasputia, the feminized Gargantua it has befallen him to marry.

As the allegorical Everyman Norbit is de Troyes' Tristan opposite Kate's Iseult, played by the elegant and stick-like Thandie Newton. Even the most minute detail does not escape Murphy's clever dialogism and even a perfunctory viewing will delight; for instance the moniker "Norbit" - a forthright nod to Ibsen's Nora.

Rasputia, given her regal carriage and an oft repeated solecism: "How you doin' ?" offers numerous Rabelaisian shenanigans to keep the viewer engrossed while the infatuated Norbit goes about his quest to woo Kate; aided by a pair of streetwise rude mechanicals.

When Rasputia's overbearing brothers assignate Norbit the seemingly commodius task of procuring young Kate's signature on a building permit a series of denouements of bobdingnagian proportions ensues, finally resolving in a morally ambigous ending.

Viewers will appreciate "Norbit" as an au courant addendum to Truffant's "La femme d'a cote" and it is no mean task to bring the eternal tale of Tristan and Iseult into the Sarkozy era, but without the overbearing didacticism prevalent in 21st century filmaking. This reviewer gives "Norbit" two thumbs up.


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Free Dirt on my Street

The park in front of my house is a center of weirdass neighborhood activity. Last week trucks dumped off a ton of mulch and Saturday moning was the mulch spreading party. I got the notice for that.

Today a truck dumped a heap of dirt and all afternoon people have been coming with buckets and tubs and cars loading up on dirt. How do they know there is dirt for the taking ? Is it even for the taking ? Are they just stealing dirt ?

Maybe I just missed the notice.

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Tangerine Machine

A couple days ago I got a chance to test out this beast.

It's a pedal powered HPV that's sold by Blue Velo. It's got a 14 speed gearbox, lights and mirrors. All that's pretty heavy at coming in at 80 pounds, but I got the feeling that once you got it up to speed you could really roll.

Everything feels faster when you're so low to the ground and can't see around cars. Bombing down a hill would be terrifying in this.

At $13,000 I was afraid go all out, because I almost hit a tree in the first few minutes since steering and braking aren't second nature since it doesn't drive like a bike or car.

It drives like a Green Machine :

...except the two wheels are at the front instead off at the back.

But if you're starved for attention, that would be $13,000 well spent. When this rolls down the road children scream and women swoon.

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

Assbike Tip: Never Ride into a Headwind !

On Sautrday I decided to do a solo ride and headed north on Keele Street to King city and then back. I decided to head north because there was a strong wind from the North, so it was tough going, but when I tured around I flew back into the city (this is better than fighting into the wind when you're tried and want to go home).

But, I realized if you ride a triangular circuit, you never have to head right into the wind.

With a triangular circuit you can ride it so that the wind is at your back on one of the legs. One the other legs you will have at least a partial crosswind.

For example in the pic below (where the wind is from the west) you could ride the circuit clockwise. This would also work if the wind was from the north or from southeast.

This is the same tactic that sailboats use - since a sailboat cannot go into the wind.

This can be kind of hard to do in practice though since most roads run parallel to each other, but one exception is Weston Rd./Albion Rd./Gore Rd. Which I tried out today.


Friday, May 04, 2007

Assbike Song: Grinderman

I mentioned Grinderman before and since then I got a chance to steal the whole album.

The sound is "raw", maybe like the Blues Explosion -- but less wacky. Here're my fave tracks :

Get it On (4.5 Mb)
Depth Charge Ethel (5.6 Mb)
Honey Bee (4.9 Mb)

I don't get out too see a lot of shows, but I will check out Grinderman if they come to town. Grinderman and the Jesus & Mary Chain, who have done a few reunion shows.

Grinderman: Better than that Tam Tam derived crap.


New York Times on Fixed gear bikes

Yes THAT New York times has an article on fixies.

This is a pretty good fixie video with cool fixed gear tricks like skids and backwards riding (but the New-Age West-Coast soundtrack blows).