Assbike Movie Review: Norbit

Dialogic Themes Abound In Murphy's Norbit

In "Norbit" Murphy is both Norbit, the eponymous anti-hero of this latest cinematic non pareil and through computer trickery and layers of latex is transformed into Rasputia, the feminized Gargantua it has befallen him to marry.

As the allegorical Everyman Norbit is de Troyes' Tristan opposite Kate's Iseult, played by the elegant and stick-like Thandie Newton. Even the most minute detail does not escape Murphy's clever dialogism and even a perfunctory viewing will delight; for instance the moniker "Norbit" - a forthright nod to Ibsen's Nora.

Rasputia, given her regal carriage and an oft repeated solecism: "How you doin' ?" offers numerous Rabelaisian shenanigans to keep the viewer engrossed while the infatuated Norbit goes about his quest to woo Kate; aided by a pair of streetwise rude mechanicals.

When Rasputia's overbearing brothers assignate Norbit the seemingly commodius task of procuring young Kate's signature on a building permit a series of denouements of bobdingnagian proportions ensues, finally resolving in a morally ambigous ending.

Viewers will appreciate "Norbit" as an au courant addendum to Truffant's "La femme d'a cote" and it is no mean task to bring the eternal tale of Tristan and Iseult into the Sarkozy era, but without the overbearing didacticism prevalent in 21st century filmaking. This reviewer gives "Norbit" two thumbs up.

Douche Chill (with Instructions)

This is "Douche Chill" (It's a 2 second mp3):

Douche Chill(25 kb)

This is how you use "Douche Chill":

You cue up your playlist, then you add "Douche Chill" to it like ten or twelve times and hit shuffle.

As you groove to your tunes, you will get a happy and unexpected douche chill at random intervals.

Snow Day

I love riding out in the snow, and amazingly a fixie rides really well in the snow; probably because the rear wheel won't skid -- unless you do it deliberately.

The city made a skating rink in the park across the street, which is nice, because the indoor rink across from my place is always booked for hockey. They spent the whole day before the snowstorm clearing it off, and now it's buried under a foot of snow.



The stretch of Bloor between about Christie and Dundas west or so (where the Value Village is) has such a different feel than the rest of the city. It feels like I'm in Brooklyn or something. Here be some pics:











I also discovered "mall shopping", hitting up Dufferin mall. I found a store called H+M that has stylin' clothes, and they're not too pricey and lots of wigger shops. I bought an Adidas tracksuit top which has the inadvertent effect of making me look like part of an 80s breakdancing crew.

...oh and there's Greta and me enjoying the snow :

More Visualization Fun

Indexed has Venn diagram and other graphical jokes drawn on index cards.

More new pics

Over the top Christmas decorations continue. One of my neighbors put up this MASSIVE sno-globe.



It's fan-powered. Inside it the snowmen on the merry-go-round actually go around ! It's on Palmerston north of Bloor, if you want to go eyeball it in person while it's still there.

Also, I'm practicing close up pictures. This is a new TTC token :



Not great, but the best of like a dozen tries.

New Photos

January - High of 9 degrees and no rain or snow. Yeehah, the Inconvenient Truth --> some convenient weather for biking around.



This one's from visualresistance.org :



... and I found these ones of flickr. Everything about this picture is perfect.



bikes outside a bar in NYC :








Someone gave us chocolates, and this one had math on it. Integratin' by parts ! It even looks like it's done on LaTeX.






Windows XP is so cool and businesslike, but search for something; it fires up the searchdog. The little dog that scrathes it's head and flips through a book while you wait.



..and here's my latest photo technique, collage. Greta eating chips.

I am photographe

I'm still waiting to see my pics in the Physics Photo Contest, but it keeps getting delayed, maybe because I'm the only one that entered.

I've been taking a lot of (mostly crappy) pictures, and instead of deleting them, I came up with a new art form. I start with some random picture (more random the better), turn it into greyscale (hides all the fucked up colours) and blur it up a bit, so it looks kinda dreamy and shit (also hides ass photo taking skills) and then write some cynical phrase over it in a hip font like Century Gothic or Gill Sans.

So here's my portfolio, don't be shocked if you see these in some coffeeshop somewhere.









I'm sure I'll be designing Imogen Heap album covers six months from now.

Modern art! I love it!